The Upside-Down Show
(After the intro, we cut to the G-man at his desk in his room) G-man: Hello, everyone! I am the G-man, and that’s all you need to know about that. Let’s talk about the Umbilical Brothers! (Cut to clips of the Umbilical Brothers’ stand-up) G-man (V.O): Comprised of Shane Dundas and David Collins, this Australian comic duo have been around for over 20 years! And according to Wikipedia, the genre of this duo is children’s music. I guess they didn’t count that time on the Side Show with their Not Suitable for Children bit. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Now, I remember this duo. Not from their stand-up, or their official YouTube channel, but from their show on Nick Junior! That’s right! It’s the Upside-Down Show! (The main theme starts as clips from the show begin to play) G-man (V.O): Up there with Blue’s Clues, Bear in the Big Blue House, and many others, the Upside-Down Show was one of those shows that has a special place in my memories. It only lasted for one season, which I find bullshit because it was one of my favorites at the time! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Like the Aquabats Super Show, we’ll be reviewing the first three episodes. All of which have names that are also locations in real life. Let’s begin! (Cut to the first episode) G-man (V.O): First up is an episode called "Movies". Also, every episode starts off with Shane and David in this white void. It’s never mentioned as to where or what it is, so I just assume that its their dilution. David: Hello, Shane! What’re you doing? Shane: I’m polishing my Snoogllook! G-man (V.O): I’m sorry, come again? Shane: I’m polishing my Snoogllook! G-man (V.O): One more time? Shane: I’m polishing my Snoogllook! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man (With an echo effect): Stop making up words! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O with original audio): There’s also this gadget called "The Remote". It’s basically this invisible object that controls pretty much anything. It has the usual buttons like pause, play, fast-forward, and rewind, but then there’s these ridiculous ones like… (The screen goes dark except for a two pairs of eyes) That. Shane: I think someone pressed the Dark Button. G-man (V.O): You think that’s bad; you should see what happens when someone presses the Twister Button! Here’s a hint; it has nothing to do with the board game! Anyway, we get this amazing intro, and then to Shane, David, and some puppet filming a, you guessed it! Movie! Puppet: That movie had everything! Space, pirates, cowboys… (He gasps) We have got to get this movie on the big screen! Shane and David (Simultaneously): Yeah! Puppet: We have to show it to the world! Shane and David (Simultaneously): Yeah! Puppet: We have to put on a- At a- At a movie theatre! Shane and David (Simultaneously): Yeah! What’s a movie theatre? (Cut back to the G-man cracking up) G-man: I love how in synch they are even when they’re confused! That’s the kind of friendship everyone’s been talking about! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): So, the basic gist of this episode is Shane and David trying to find the movie theatre. Shane (Solo to audience): Hey, can you press the Fast-Forward Button on your remote so we can so we can find that movie theatre fast? (Cut back to the G-man holding a television remote and pressing one of the buttons, but nothing happens) G-man: That’s not fast-forward. What did I just push? (Cut to a stock video of the Earth exploding. After a while, the G-man’s voice is heard) G-man (V.O): Oops… (Cut back to the episode. Shane and David approach a red door, but before they can open it, a man’s voice is heard) Voice (V.O): Shane. David. Shane and David (Simultaneously): Yes? Voice (V.O): Aren’t you forgetting something? (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Who’s voice is that? It’s never established who it really is, so for all we know, it could be the voice of God! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): Somehow, they end up in a laundromat and mistake a tumble dryer for a movie screen. (There’s a moment of silence before the G-man speaks again) Wow. David (Solo): I don’t remember this bit! Shane: Yeah, it’s fluffier than I remember. David: And it’s very repetitive. Shane: What do you mean? David: I mean it’s very repetitive. Shane: What do you mean? David: I mean it’s like I’ve seen that bit before. And there! There it is again! And- (The dryer stops) Oh! What’s happening? Shane: You know, David, it’s quite dry. (An explosion is heard as we cut back to the G-man) G-man: And there goes the joke counter! For fuck’s sake, I’ll have to reorder it now! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): They meet a sock named Lefty who’s crying because he lost his partner, Barbra… (Cut back to the G-man shrugging confusedly before we cut back to the episode) So, they decide to help out. David: This looks like a job for… (He and Shane hold up their index fingers. His next line is along with Shane’s) Action Fingers! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: What’d you cut back to me for? Did you really expect me to make a dirty joke? (He sighs) Fine… Mud. (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): Now, these "Action Fingers" actually have names; Pointy and Knuckles. (Cut to a picture of Knuckles the Echidna) Too easy. (Cut back to the episode) Knuckles: We’re gonna crash! Pointy: Tell my wife I glove her! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Ew… (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): We then get introduced to Mandy Bishop playing Mrs. Foil. And before you ask, no, she’s not a conspiracy theorist. Foil: Look at what you two did to my laundry! David: I-It wasn’t us! It was Action Fingers! Foil: Action Fingers? Shane: Yes! Honest! David: They messed up your laundry! Shane: That’s right! Hold on, we’ll show you! (To audience) Could you press the Instant Replay Button on your remote? (The crash scene plays in reverse, then forwards again. This time, in slow motion) Foil: What do you know? It was action fingers! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Well, there’s something I thought I’d never hear anyone say! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): Action Fingers rescue Barbra, and after she’s reunites with Lefty, we return back to the main area. Puppet: The movie’s about to start! C’mon, let’s go! David: Puppet, we haven’t found the movie theatre yet! Puppet: You’ve gotta find it! Fast! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Wait, wait, wait! You’re telling me that the puppet’s name is literally "Puppet"? That’s… (He shrugs) Ingenious! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): We find our way into a room with a large mirror. And of course, they mistake it for a movie screen. That’s when some random girl, not question their sanity, tells them the harsh truth: It’s a mirror. (The girl performs a few dance moves, after she bows, we cut back to the G-man capping briefly, and then back to the episode) Puppet: You did it? David: Did what? Shane: We didn’t do anything. David: What did we do? Shane: What? Puppet: Found the movie theatre? Shane and David (Simultaneously): Well… Uh… No. Puppet: C’mon, fellas, you can’t rest now! You gotta find that theatre! (Through megaphone) Action! (Shane and David perk up and walk to the right. Once they approach a door, some small, fuzzy puppets block the way) Shane (Solo): Shmuzzies… David: Shmello, Shmuzzies! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: What the fuck is a Shmuzzy?! (He waits a while before he speaks again) And did I really ask that?! (Cut back to the episode. Shane and David enter a white room with a single chair) David: Shane! Shane: Yes? David: A seat! (Shane gasps) This must be the movie theatre! Shane: That’s my seat! David: Oh, no. That’s my seat! Shane: Oh, no. That’s my seat! David: I saw it first! Voice (V.O): Shane. David. Shane and David (Simultaneously): Yes? Voice (V.O): What are you supposed to do when there’s one of something, and you both want it? (Cut back to the G-man raising his Lego gun) G-man: I’ve got one. (He holds up a coin in the other hand) You flip one of these babies. What’d you think I was gonna say? (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): After coming out of wherever that was, we finally find the movie theatre via a door in their house. (There’s a moment of silence before the G-man speaks again) You know, I can’t help but wonder how many rooms this "House" has. What didn’t make the cut? (Cut back to the G-man holding a clearly fake stick of dynamite) G-man: Quick! We’ve gotta get this dynamite to the Explosion Room! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): After Shane and David watch the movie they made at the beginning of the episode, they show you how to make your own movie, and the first episode ends. (Cut to the opening of the second episode) Episode two is titled Barbershop, and here we go! It opens with the usual white void skit, but seeing as how that’s never mentioned every again, we’ll skip it. We begin with David looking for Shane, when he appears with extremely long hair. His explanation? Shane (Solo): I went to get some broccoli, I took out the garbage, I went to the Very Hairy Room… (He gets cut off as we cut back to the G-man) G-man: Can someone elaborate as to what he was doing in the Very Hairy Room? Let alone not question why they have a room that’s very hairy? (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): Anyway, the male voice says that Shane needs a haircut at a barbershop. And of course, he refuses. David: Shane, how would you like to hold Bob while you get your hair cut? Shane: Your blanket? David: My blanket. Shane: You’d let me hold Bob, your blanket? David: Well, he always helps me out when I’m feeling a little nervous. (He starts calling) Bob? Where are you, Bob? Bob (Voiced by David who’s clearly moving his mouth): Right where you left me! (Cut back to the G-man cracking up again) G-man: I’ll ignore the fact that David’s a poor ventriloquist and ask this: Why does Bob have a smoker’s voice? (Cut back to the episode) Shane: You see, we don’t know where the barbershop is. Uh, therefor, we can’t go. (Cut to a bit later in the episode, David spots a door with an Elvis-like hairdo on it) David: I think I see the barbershop! Shane: Oh! Ah, yes, but I don’t have time to get a haircut. You see, I’ve got to… Wash my hair! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: C’mon, Shane! Charlie Brown has more hair than you! Well, before this episode, at least. (Cut back to the episode. Shane and David enter a room with hairy walls. Both of them have longer hair and beards) David: Whoa, it’s pretty hairy in here! Shane: Whoa! You’re pretty hairy in here! David: Oh! I am! (He gasps) You’re even hairier in here! (Cut to a bit later in the episode) Bob: Oh yeah? What about me? I look ridiculous! (A girl with long hair and a beard appears from behind a chair. Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Um… What was she doing behind that chair? Was she just waiting for someone to appear? (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O as girl): Finally! I’ve waited a month for these bozos to arrive! Shane: Are you the barber? Girl: No, I’m not the barber. David: But isn’t this the barber shop? Girl: Barbershops have scissors. This is the Very Very Hairy Room. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man (In normal voice): So, we have "The Very Hairy Room", and "The Very Very Hairy Room". (He shrugs) Because why the hell not? (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): Anyway, we sing a ditty about the room, and then we head into… (Shane and David enter the Hairbrush Room) An acid trip? Girl: Hello! Shane: Hello! (He gasps) Are you the barber? Girl: No. David: But isn’t this the barbershop? Girl: No, this is the Hairbrush Room. Shane and David (Simultaneously): The Hairbrush Room? (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: What do you keep cutting back to me for? Do you really expect me to comment on what I just saw? (He sighs) Fine… (He clears his throat) So that’s ''where Larry the Cucumber left his hairbrush! (A punchline rimshot is heard before we cut back to the episode. Shane and David enter a stage where Mrs. Foil and some Shmuzzies are) Foil: And now, the Talking Heads with their big hit ditty; Very Very Hairy! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Y’know, since it would make me self-absorbed to play my own theme… (He waits a while before he speaks again) I’m still doing it. (Cut back to the episode with the G-man’s theme played over it. When it ends, we cut to a bit later in the episode with the original audio) David: I don’t believe it, Shane! Shane: Believe what? David: Your hair! It’s even longer than before! (Cut to a bit later in the episode. The Shmuzzies appear in Shane’s extremely long hair) David: Oh! Shmello, Shmuzzies! Shane: Shmuzies!? David: It’s the Shmuzzies! Shane: Shmuzzies!? Oh no, they’ve moved in! David: Well, Shane, they probably think it’s the Very Very Hairy Room. G-man (V.O): Side note: It’s never explained as to what exactly the Shmuzzies are. Are they just puppets, or are they aliens? Seriously, 50 bucks if you can tell me what they are. Anyway, we find the barbershop, Shane gets cut down to bald again, and episode two ends there. (Cut to the opening of the third episode) Episode three, and our last episode for today, is titled Art Museum. Well, let’s not delay! It opens with Shane and David making a picture, and then Mrs. Foil comes by and tells them that it’s so good, it belongs in an art museum. (Mrs. Foil pulls a picture frame out of her small purse) Okay, hold on! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Let me check something… (He holds up a water bottle and turns to look at it) What do you think? (He holds his ear up to it) You think so? (He pulls away) I think so, too! (She turns his attention back to the camera) Yep! I’ve officially lost my mind! (Cut back to the episode) Shane: We’ve got to get my painting to the art museum! David: And where might we find this "Art museum"? Shane: Well, I don’t know, but I’m an artist, and an artist is guided by hunches, inspirations, feelings. Nothing more than feelings that can’t be explained. David: What do you mean? Shane: I don’t know. (The Seinfeld outro plays as we fade to black, and then we cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): We eventually find our way into a room that’s quite a sticky situation! (A punchline rimshot is heard) Thank you! Thank you! Shane: We seem to be in a sticky situation, old chum. (When we cut back to the normal perspective, a bottle of glue has appeared) Glue: It’s the Sticky Room! (Cut back to the G-man looking disturbed) G-man: Um… The glue’s talking, and that’s scaring me! I’m moving on! (Cut back to the episode) Shane (To audience): Hey, could you press the Unstick Button on your remote? (Nothing happens) David: Could you… Have you pressed it? Press it again! (Again, nothing happens) Oh no… Shane: I think the Unstick Button is… (Along with David) Stuck. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Oh, the Anvil of Irony! (A cartoon anvil with the word "IRONY!" on it falls on top of the G-man. After a while, he speaks again) Ow… (Cut back to the episode. Shane and David enter a room with a lot of fog) Shane: Well, here we are! David: Here we… Where are we? Shane: Well, the art museum, of course! David: Are you sure? Shane: Yep! And I’m gonna hang my picture up on this wall! (A sticking sound is heard) David (Slightly muffled): That’s not a wall, that’s my face. (Cut to a YouTube clip) Man holding camera: Your face! Goddammit! (Cut back to the episode) Shane: You know, David, don’t you think its strange there’d be an art museum where you can’t see the art? Or anything? (A foghorn is heard) David: Was that foghorn? Shane: Yeah, well, it ''is foggy in here. David: It is foggy. Shane: What kind of room would this be? David: I haven’t the foggiest. (He gasps before speaking a long with Shane) The Fog Room! Shane (Solo): We’ve got to find our way out. Oh! I know! (To audience): You can help us if you you’d press the Fog Light Button on your remote. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Or how about this? (He holds up his iPhone’s flashlight towards the camera) Technology, motherfuckers! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): Okay, now we’re out of the Fog Room… (Shane imitates a fly landing on his hand) Shane: Hey, Fido! How’s my favorite little fly? (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Fido, huh? Looks like they missed the opportunity to name him Fly-do. (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): After Shane adds a bowtie to his picture, we somehow enter the Finger-painting Room. David: Shane! Shane! Shane: Yes? David (Pointing to a boy who’s finger-painting): He’s an artist creating a masterpiece just like those other ones! Shane: He’s painting with his fingers! Boy: I’m finger-painting. Shane: Finger… Painting? David: What’ll they think of next? Toe-sketching? (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: You know, I’d like to see that. (He pulls out his iPhone and begins typing away) Dear Rhett and Link; Have I got a suggestion for you! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): We learn how to make something called "Gurple", the Action Fingers create a finger painting, and then we head back home. David: It’s great to be home! Shane: Yeah, it’s great- No, it isn’t! I still haven’t found a place to put my picture! David: Uh-oh! Shane’s despairing! Shane: I’ll never find a place to put this picture! David: Yep! He’s despairing, alright! Shane: I couldn’t- I couldn’t put it in the Fog Room, I couldn’t stick it in the Sticky Room… David: That’s real despair, people! Shane: I couldn’t hang it in the Shmuzzy Art Museum, I couldn’t put in the Finger-painting Museum… David: We have maximum despair! (To Shane) Shane, please don’t despair. (Cut back to the G-man looking at his iPhone) G-man: Who’s Monokuma, and why does he want to know my location? (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): So, since Shane can’t find the art museum, what’s the only option? Shane: I’m gonna put this picture in the Stuff Closet with all of our stuff. David: That’s crazy talk! Shane: No, it isn’t. This is crazy talk: (He speaks gibberish) See the difference? (Cut back to the G-man chuckling) G-man: Okay, that’s funny! (Cut back to the episode) G-man (V.O): David somehow falls into the Stuff Closet, don’t ask how, and they finally find the art museum which is actually the Gallery of New South Wales in Australia. That’s pretty cool! Eventually, they find a refrigerator in the museum. And since I’ve learned to stop questioning this show, I’ll let it slide. So, Shane hangs his picture up, they teach us how to make our own picture, and the third episode ends! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: So, that was the Upside-Down Show! It’s weird, it makes no sense in some places, but it’s fucking funny! I definitely recommend it! Well, I am this G-man, and that’s all you need to know about that! Peace! Category:Episode